Fear is a basic human emotion necessary for self-preservation and survival. However, fears and anxieties can interfere with a child’s growth and happiness. The following are suggested ways for parents to help.
Encourage Questions: To the child, the unknown is always fearful. Questions are a child’s method of feeling secure through knowledge.
Talk Over Disturbing Events: Re-living the event through words, or playing it out, helps the child assimilate anxiety that might otherwise be suppressed.
Avoid Re-exposing a Child to Fear: A child’s fear cannot be undone by exposing him or her to the same frightening circumstances again. A child should have reassurance and relief after a scare. He can more easily face another fright if he has a memory of relief from the first.
Avoid Shaming: Shaming only adds insult to injury. It makes the child feel weaker and less able to deal with his fears. Shaming may cure the child of expressing fear, but the underlying anxiety will eventually be expressed in some other way (nightmares, tantrums, tension, stuttering, timidity, etc.).
Look for Underlying Causes: Anxieties change with time and events. If the basic cause is not discovered, the anxiety may worsen and it’s origin becomes lost.
Accept the Child’s Answers: Remember that understanding and kindness will be more effective than cross-examination. Sometimes the child truly does not know the cause of his anxiety.
Get In Tune With Your Child: We can’t rear our children to be free of fear. We can help our children grow to maturity unburdened by destructive anxiety; free to become spontaneous and creative adults with a greater capacity to enjoy themselves and contribute to the happiness of others.
(Adapted from Fears of Children by Helen Ross.)
Friday, January 29, 2010
Help with Goodbyes
As your child steps out to school, it is a big moment for you both. It is healthy for your child to be hesitant to be left at preschool. His/her hesitance is an indication of the strong bond he/she has with you.
The following are some suggestions on how to cope with this hesitancy:
The following are some suggestions on how to cope with this hesitancy:
- Prepare yourself ahead of time.
- Plan a goodbye ritual, such as a hug, kiss, or wave.
- Do say goodbye. Don’t just slip away when the child is not looking. We’d rather deal with a few minutes of tears than a child feeling abandoned.
- Pick up your child on time. Be the first parent rather than the last parent to arrive. As your child learns to trust that you will always come back to get him/her when you say you will, being at preschool will be a more comfortable experience.
Head Lice
Dear Parents,
A case of head lice has been discovered in your child’s classroom. Please check your child for head lice. If you find lice on your child, please make sure your child is treated and all lice are dead and removed before sending your child back to school. Below are some facts on head lice. Additional information is available on the Internet at www.headlice.org and www.hsph.harvard.edu/headlice.html.
Head lice are small insects
· They live on the hair and scalp of humans where they feed on blood.
Anyone can get head lice
· You can catch head lice by coming in direct contact with an infected person's head or with personal belongings such as combs, brushes, and hats. Head lice can spread as long as lice or eggs remain alive on the infested person or clothing. Pets (dogs and cats) do not catch head lice.
Itching of the head and neck is common with head lice
· Itching may be mild to intense. Other signs to look for can sometimes include swelling of neck glands, fever, or muscle aches.
Head lice are diagnosed by the presence of adult lice or eggs (nits)
· Lice may be difficult to see, but nits (eggs) may be seen as specks "glued" to the hair shaft. Nits range in color from yellow to gray.
Head lice can be treated
· Medicated shampoos or creme rinses kill lice. Permethrin‑based drugs (such as Nix) are the treatment of choice and may be purchased over‑the‑counter. Products with lindane are strongly discouraged. Follow package directions closely. Fine‑toothed combs are available to help remove nits from the hair. Wash hats, scarves, clothing, towels and bed linen in hot water and dry in a hot dryer. Tie up non‑washable items in a plastic bag for 10 days. Wash combs and brushes with a disinfectant and hot water. Manual removal (i.e., with a fine-toothed comb) combined with medicated treatments are the best option whenever possible.
Spraying classrooms or homes with insecticides is not recommended
· Floors, rugs, pillows, and upholstered furniture should be vacuumed. The lice die
when they are away from the warmth of a human body for more than 48 hours.
Infestations can be prevented
· Avoid physical contact with a person who has lice
· Do not share combs, brushes, hats, scarves, ribbons, or other personal items
· Household members and close contacts of a person with head lice should be
examined and treated if they are infested
· Exclude children with head lice from school or daycare until the morning after treatment
A case of head lice has been discovered in your child’s classroom. Please check your child for head lice. If you find lice on your child, please make sure your child is treated and all lice are dead and removed before sending your child back to school. Below are some facts on head lice. Additional information is available on the Internet at www.headlice.org and www.hsph.harvard.edu/headlice.html.
Head lice are small insects
· They live on the hair and scalp of humans where they feed on blood.
Anyone can get head lice
· You can catch head lice by coming in direct contact with an infected person's head or with personal belongings such as combs, brushes, and hats. Head lice can spread as long as lice or eggs remain alive on the infested person or clothing. Pets (dogs and cats) do not catch head lice.
Itching of the head and neck is common with head lice
· Itching may be mild to intense. Other signs to look for can sometimes include swelling of neck glands, fever, or muscle aches.
Head lice are diagnosed by the presence of adult lice or eggs (nits)
· Lice may be difficult to see, but nits (eggs) may be seen as specks "glued" to the hair shaft. Nits range in color from yellow to gray.
Head lice can be treated
· Medicated shampoos or creme rinses kill lice. Permethrin‑based drugs (such as Nix) are the treatment of choice and may be purchased over‑the‑counter. Products with lindane are strongly discouraged. Follow package directions closely. Fine‑toothed combs are available to help remove nits from the hair. Wash hats, scarves, clothing, towels and bed linen in hot water and dry in a hot dryer. Tie up non‑washable items in a plastic bag for 10 days. Wash combs and brushes with a disinfectant and hot water. Manual removal (i.e., with a fine-toothed comb) combined with medicated treatments are the best option whenever possible.
Spraying classrooms or homes with insecticides is not recommended
· Floors, rugs, pillows, and upholstered furniture should be vacuumed. The lice die
when they are away from the warmth of a human body for more than 48 hours.
Infestations can be prevented
· Avoid physical contact with a person who has lice
· Do not share combs, brushes, hats, scarves, ribbons, or other personal items
· Household members and close contacts of a person with head lice should be
examined and treated if they are infested
· Exclude children with head lice from school or daycare until the morning after treatment
Guidelines for Time-Out
Popular magazines and parenting seminars often promote time-out as a discipline tool but many parents find that time-out doesn’t always work. If you are frustrated with this technique, check yourself against these guidelines. Maybe you’ll discover ways to use time-out more effectively.
Use these guidelines
* Avoid using time-out for infants and toddlers. It is never appropriate to discipline children for behavior that is beyond their control and understanding. Young children should never be isolated or ignored. Instead, redirect or guide the children to more acceptable activities.
* For children older than 3, limit the frequency and time of this cool-down, calming period. Time-out loses its effectiveness when used more than a time or two a week or for more than two to three minutes at a time. The idea is to give children a breather - a time away from the business of the moment - to regain control and consider different ways of behaving.
* Make sure your expectations for your children’s behavior match their ability levels. A 2-year-old is not usually able to share a favorite toy, for example. It would, therefore, be inappropriate to discipline this child for selfishness. On the other hand, a 5-year-old can usually interact with other children well enough to control the urge to turn over a game board after a loss. In this case, time-out offers the child an opportunity to consider other ways to deal with frustration and disappointment.
* No guidance technique should be humiliating, threatening, or scary. Ridicule and isolation increase the likelihood of continued acting out. New research suggests that children who are harshly disciplined are more likely to act aggressively than those who are guided with loving attention and consistency. Remember, children imitate adult behavior. If you scream and humiliate, your child likely to do the same.
* Help your child work out feelings during the time-out. Many children benefit from a moment or two of quiet reflection but then need the continued support of loving adults to sort through the pros and cons of certain behaviors. Help children by talking calmly, asking questions, and being respectful of the child’s feelings. Ask,” Can you tell me some other ways you can handle this problem?”
* Always make sure children know why they are being disciplined. By your clarity and consistency, your children learn the behaviors that are acceptable to you and society. When you are unclear and inconsistent in your responses to behaviors, children are likely to repeat the behavior. For example, when 4-year-old August is punished on Monday for hitting his friend but praised for “standing up for himself” when he gets in a fight on Thursday, he is likely to be confused about when it is okay to hit. Or, if on Wednesday, Angelica sneaks a piece of gum form her mother’s purse and is put in time-out but on Friday her mother laughs at her sneaky behavior, it is likely that Angelica will sneak the gum again because she hasn’t yet learned her mother’s rule.
Guidance and discipline help children learn self-control and judgment. By following these guidelines, you can promote children’s self-discipline and confidence. Further, you can encourage problem-solving and decision-making that contribute to life-long success in social relationships.
(Adapted from Texas Parenting News, Guidelines For Time-out, in Texas Childcare Journal)
Use these guidelines
* Avoid using time-out for infants and toddlers. It is never appropriate to discipline children for behavior that is beyond their control and understanding. Young children should never be isolated or ignored. Instead, redirect or guide the children to more acceptable activities.
* For children older than 3, limit the frequency and time of this cool-down, calming period. Time-out loses its effectiveness when used more than a time or two a week or for more than two to three minutes at a time. The idea is to give children a breather - a time away from the business of the moment - to regain control and consider different ways of behaving.
* Make sure your expectations for your children’s behavior match their ability levels. A 2-year-old is not usually able to share a favorite toy, for example. It would, therefore, be inappropriate to discipline this child for selfishness. On the other hand, a 5-year-old can usually interact with other children well enough to control the urge to turn over a game board after a loss. In this case, time-out offers the child an opportunity to consider other ways to deal with frustration and disappointment.
* No guidance technique should be humiliating, threatening, or scary. Ridicule and isolation increase the likelihood of continued acting out. New research suggests that children who are harshly disciplined are more likely to act aggressively than those who are guided with loving attention and consistency. Remember, children imitate adult behavior. If you scream and humiliate, your child likely to do the same.
* Help your child work out feelings during the time-out. Many children benefit from a moment or two of quiet reflection but then need the continued support of loving adults to sort through the pros and cons of certain behaviors. Help children by talking calmly, asking questions, and being respectful of the child’s feelings. Ask,” Can you tell me some other ways you can handle this problem?”
* Always make sure children know why they are being disciplined. By your clarity and consistency, your children learn the behaviors that are acceptable to you and society. When you are unclear and inconsistent in your responses to behaviors, children are likely to repeat the behavior. For example, when 4-year-old August is punished on Monday for hitting his friend but praised for “standing up for himself” when he gets in a fight on Thursday, he is likely to be confused about when it is okay to hit. Or, if on Wednesday, Angelica sneaks a piece of gum form her mother’s purse and is put in time-out but on Friday her mother laughs at her sneaky behavior, it is likely that Angelica will sneak the gum again because she hasn’t yet learned her mother’s rule.
Guidance and discipline help children learn self-control and judgment. By following these guidelines, you can promote children’s self-discipline and confidence. Further, you can encourage problem-solving and decision-making that contribute to life-long success in social relationships.
(Adapted from Texas Parenting News, Guidelines For Time-out, in Texas Childcare Journal)
Group Entry Skills
Learning the give and take of playing with peers is one of the important tasks of the preschool and kindergarten years. While many children seem to become social stars with no visible tutoring, many other children are shy and reluctant to join their peers in play or they may be aggressive and rejected from peer play.
Successful group entry usually follows a three-step process:
When a child is not successful in achieving group entry most of the time he/she tries, it usually is a sign they are having trouble with one of these three steps. For example, if a child is low on impulse control and simply enters the group without first observing and finding a complementary role to play, his/her entry will likely disrupt the ongoing drama and cause the current players to reject his/her entry. If the child takes time to observe the play and then attempts to join without proffering a role for themselves, they will likely be rejected unless there is an especially imaginative player who can provide that role for the new child before the other children reject him/her. Likewise, it profits the child little if they come up with a wonderful role to play unless they are willing to step up and offer to fill that role.
As you observe the social entry skills of your child you may find the need to do a little coaching, role play, or reciprocal parent-child play to enhance their skills in one or all of these steps.
1) You might observe the ongoing play of other children and talk about their play and other possible roles that might enrich the play.
2) You might do some actual pretend to play with your child and brainstorm as you play what other players would be great to add to your fun.
3) Note that some formal games have a beginning and an end and that the most appropriate time to join would be as the game begins.
4) Play games with formal rules and help them learn to lose as well as win.
5) Help them understand the rhythm of turn-taking by playing catch with a ball or similar alternating activities.
Research indicates that social entry skills can be enhanced with skillful coaching from parents and teachers, but the results are significantly enhanced if we believe our efforts can improve the child’s social competence and acceptance by his/her peers.
(Nelson, D.A. (1996). Promoting children’s positive peer relationships and friendships: Insights from the moral development literature. Term paper submitted to Steve Asher. University of Illinois.)
Successful group entry usually follows a three-step process:
- Observation of the ongoing play assimilating the current roles and rules,
- Conceptualizing a role they might play, a way they would easily slip into the current play without undue disruption to the ongoing drama, and
- The actual implementation of that entry strategy.
When a child is not successful in achieving group entry most of the time he/she tries, it usually is a sign they are having trouble with one of these three steps. For example, if a child is low on impulse control and simply enters the group without first observing and finding a complementary role to play, his/her entry will likely disrupt the ongoing drama and cause the current players to reject his/her entry. If the child takes time to observe the play and then attempts to join without proffering a role for themselves, they will likely be rejected unless there is an especially imaginative player who can provide that role for the new child before the other children reject him/her. Likewise, it profits the child little if they come up with a wonderful role to play unless they are willing to step up and offer to fill that role.
As you observe the social entry skills of your child you may find the need to do a little coaching, role play, or reciprocal parent-child play to enhance their skills in one or all of these steps.
1) You might observe the ongoing play of other children and talk about their play and other possible roles that might enrich the play.
2) You might do some actual pretend to play with your child and brainstorm as you play what other players would be great to add to your fun.
3) Note that some formal games have a beginning and an end and that the most appropriate time to join would be as the game begins.
4) Play games with formal rules and help them learn to lose as well as win.
5) Help them understand the rhythm of turn-taking by playing catch with a ball or similar alternating activities.
Research indicates that social entry skills can be enhanced with skillful coaching from parents and teachers, but the results are significantly enhanced if we believe our efforts can improve the child’s social competence and acceptance by his/her peers.
(Nelson, D.A. (1996). Promoting children’s positive peer relationships and friendships: Insights from the moral development literature. Term paper submitted to Steve Asher. University of Illinois.)
Good Guys, Bad Guys
Television and movie themes feature many superheroes who are irresistible to children. In these stories, there is a stark distinction between good and evil characters, and it seems that they always resort to fighting to settle problems.
It is common for preschoolers’ play to center on themes of good and bad, friends and enemies, and even weapons of destruction. Through their play, they are working hard to figure out the difference between right and wrong, to understand rules, make sense of moral and social issues, and deepen their understanding of themselves and their place in the world. Preschoolers also use play to express their aggressive or frightening feelings.
In trying to understand and support your child’s need to express himself through safe, creative play relax and try not to overreact. Extend your child’s play by suggesting additions of building homes, creating costumes, writing stories, illustrating their storybooks, and finding ways to resolve the conflict without using weapons or violence.
The impact of superheroes depends a lot on how much time children spend watching television and videos. If you watch programs with your child and talk about the characters and their actions, you can help keep superhero tactics in perspective. You may also begin reading stories to your child about peaceful, real-life heroes like Johnny Appleseed or personal family history stories of heroes from your past. My Grandson loves to hear the story of “The Shoes” about a Great-Grandfather (who also has the same name) who escaped from being a prisoner of Johnston’s army when they were on their way to Salt Lake City so he could relay the plans of the army to Brigham Young. He was freezing to death as he ran barefoot on a cold, January night in Wyoming away from the searching soldiers. He prayed and asked the Lord for a coat and pair of socks to help him through the night and straightway stumbled over a coat in his path with a pair of socks in the pocket.
With careful adult guidance and lots of discussions, children can understand the difference between superhero fantasy battles against the bad guys and how ordinary human beings deal with the evils we encounter in the real world.
It is common for preschoolers’ play to center on themes of good and bad, friends and enemies, and even weapons of destruction. Through their play, they are working hard to figure out the difference between right and wrong, to understand rules, make sense of moral and social issues, and deepen their understanding of themselves and their place in the world. Preschoolers also use play to express their aggressive or frightening feelings.
In trying to understand and support your child’s need to express himself through safe, creative play relax and try not to overreact. Extend your child’s play by suggesting additions of building homes, creating costumes, writing stories, illustrating their storybooks, and finding ways to resolve the conflict without using weapons or violence.
The impact of superheroes depends a lot on how much time children spend watching television and videos. If you watch programs with your child and talk about the characters and their actions, you can help keep superhero tactics in perspective. You may also begin reading stories to your child about peaceful, real-life heroes like Johnny Appleseed or personal family history stories of heroes from your past. My Grandson loves to hear the story of “The Shoes” about a Great-Grandfather (who also has the same name) who escaped from being a prisoner of Johnston’s army when they were on their way to Salt Lake City so he could relay the plans of the army to Brigham Young. He was freezing to death as he ran barefoot on a cold, January night in Wyoming away from the searching soldiers. He prayed and asked the Lord for a coat and pair of socks to help him through the night and straightway stumbled over a coat in his path with a pair of socks in the pocket.
With careful adult guidance and lots of discussions, children can understand the difference between superhero fantasy battles against the bad guys and how ordinary human beings deal with the evils we encounter in the real world.
Family Storybook Reading
Family Storybook Reading: Do We Have to Read It Again?
Any parent with a preschooler at home has inevitably asked themselves, or maybe their child, this question. Children enjoy hearing the same book, again and again, never growing tired of the story. Should these stories be read over and over?
Researchers have found that children who read early have been read to by their parents. Many of the same books are chosen time and time again. These repeated readings are beneficial for the child. Story re-telling becomes more elaborate, vocabulary increases, and comprehension is furthered with each reading.
To add variety and depth to repeated storybook readings, try these simple adaptations:
Have your child "read" the story to you. Even if they have not fully developed their reading skills, children who are familiar with a particular story can retell it vividly.
Make puppets together and act out a favorite scene.
Ask "What would happen if..." questions about the story. For example, "What would happen if the wolf in The Three Little Pigs had asthma?" or have your child ask his or her questions.
Illustrate new endings to familiar stories
Visit the local library and help your child find a book by the same author or on a similar theme.
These adaptations can extend storybook re-readings, which may further the vocabulary and comprehension skills of the child.
Learning to Read and Write (2000, p. 10)
Much More than ABC’s (1999)
Preventing Reading Difficulties in Young Children (1999, p. 74 and 76)
Any parent with a preschooler at home has inevitably asked themselves, or maybe their child, this question. Children enjoy hearing the same book, again and again, never growing tired of the story. Should these stories be read over and over?
Researchers have found that children who read early have been read to by their parents. Many of the same books are chosen time and time again. These repeated readings are beneficial for the child. Story re-telling becomes more elaborate, vocabulary increases, and comprehension is furthered with each reading.
To add variety and depth to repeated storybook readings, try these simple adaptations:
Have your child "read" the story to you. Even if they have not fully developed their reading skills, children who are familiar with a particular story can retell it vividly.
Make puppets together and act out a favorite scene.
Ask "What would happen if..." questions about the story. For example, "What would happen if the wolf in The Three Little Pigs had asthma?" or have your child ask his or her questions.
Illustrate new endings to familiar stories
Visit the local library and help your child find a book by the same author or on a similar theme.
These adaptations can extend storybook re-readings, which may further the vocabulary and comprehension skills of the child.
Learning to Read and Write (2000, p. 10)
Much More than ABC’s (1999)
Preventing Reading Difficulties in Young Children (1999, p. 74 and 76)
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