A Salute to Fathers

In my experience as a preschool teacher, I have worked with several groups of children from differing segments of our society. One of the pleasures of coming to BYU is working with families where fathers are involved in your children’s lives. Often fathers are absent both physically and emotionally. For years I have observed the differences in children’s behavior when Dad is nearby making a positive contribution and when he isn’t. We have also underestimated the importance of fathers supporting mothers emotionally. There is a strong carry over to how this affects the children.

Clinical professor psychiatry, Kyle D. Pruett writes in the article “Involved Fatherhood...” that fathers should involve themselves in the physical care of their children because good things happen. Recent research shows that fathers can respond to their infants’ needs in ways that are critical to the child’s well-being. Even if inexperienced, men when given the change figure out the best feeding, diapering, comforting, and bathing routines. It doesn’t matter that the approach may differ from the mother’s. The children adapt just fine. Fathers have a different style of playing with their children than mothers do. Mothers tend to pick up and “handle their babies in rhythmically similar patterns” (Pruett). Fathers encourage more risk-taking and problem-solving and they like to tickle and toss their children in the air. Babies enjoy the difference and benefit from it. Experts feel that children who have involved fathers have a broader range of social behavior and interaction skills. The bottom line is that fathers make unique, long-lasting contributions to the whole family when they take an active part in child-rearing. So, fathers, I salute you and I thank you for your contribution to your children’s lives.

Ways Fathers Can Become Involved:
- Start early, before delivery–be involved in the pregnancy
- Be in on things from birth–handle and care for your baby physically
- Get involved in your baby’s routine–change the diaper, get up at night, etc.
- Bet better at hanging out with your kid–you don’t always have to be doing something–just be together
- Make your emotional commitment to your child real–take part in doctor visits, choosing a babysitter, and be involved in your child’s school
- Watch out for competitive feelings with the mother–share moments and don’t insist that things always be done your way