Say “YES” When You Can

If you could save a nickel every time you say “no” to your child, would you have a bank full of coins? If your answer is yes, you and your child are probably feeling a lot of frustration.

Here at the preschool we challenge ourselves to tell a child what to do rather than what not to do: to put their feet on the floor, to walk inside, to keep their hands to themselves, to keep the paint on the paper, to touch the computer gently, to wait until the other child is through with the toy or ask the child for a turn.

We give them choices: Do you want to pick up the large blocks or the small blocks? the dishes or the food? the pencils or the paper? Do you want to race me inside or see if we can skip?

There are some things they cannot do and times when behaviors must be stopped immediately. Dr. Larsen says that you stop the behavior when: (1) Someone might be hurt, (2) Something might be broken, or (3) When you just can’t stand it anymore! Children understand when you say: “That is unacceptable! Stop now!”

The most useful management technique in our preschool is our curriculum. We find that when the children are given choices of acceptable things to do, they don’t seem to find as many unacceptable things as we need to redirect or stop. Sometimes your child may need only a few minutes of your undivided attention to be able to play independently in acceptable ways.

My creed is: CHILDREN NEED LOVE MOST WHEN THEY DESERVE IT LEAST!